


kind of love

by angstoverload (TypicalAuthornim)



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16362410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypicalAuthornim/pseuds/angstoverload
Summary: the name engraved in my heartthat is enough for me.alternatively: hearts are double-sided swords.





	kind of love

**Author's Note:**

> helloo im back after the longest hiatus ever for our beloved 2parkweek! hehe
> 
> hope you enjoy this~!

 

 

 

the sound of wind brushing against the trees. the sunlight spreading its warmth everywhere. a number of heads bobbing across the sidewalk. birds chirping, flying around. the sounds of crockery and smell of breakfast.

this is how jihoon’s first day of highschool started.

he had started for school early that day, jumping through the way with excitement and happiness. school meant friends, and friends meant  _ woojin _ , so he thinks it’s okay to be happy.

after all, woojin does make him happy. all the time. and he had missed the boy during the summer holidays. he had been utterly bored through the days without his favorite partner-in-crime, so he thinks he could be happy.

he enters the school, one of the first students that day, and walks straight to his class.

he’s happy. he’s so happy to be back, because that means more hanging out with woojin and less lying around lazily in his room. as much as he loved playing and being adventurous, it meant nothing with woojin missing.

he plugs his earphones and rests on the desk, looking at the sky and the clouds floating across. he doesn't quite focus on the song, at least not until more students starts flooding in the class and it gets noisy enough to disrupt the peace of watching the clouds.

no sight of woojin.

jihoon worries his lip between his teeth, looking at the door expectantly.

“looking for your boyfriend?” haknyeon asks, and jihoon doesn’t hesitate to smack the guy’s arm.

“ _ not _ my boyfriend; he’s always late to class, and for once i thought he would come early. since it’s highschool and all.”

haknyeon laughs and settles on his own seat, leaving a space beside jihoon’s own.

by now, the whole class knows about jihoon and woojin, how they stick together like someone put them together with super glue, how they would sulk if the other wasn’t present one godforsaken day. or worse, if they didn't get to sit beside each other.

“i’m—” a voice screeches through the class, and jihoon smiles knowingly. “— here, bestie!”

a smile spreads across jihoon’s face as he hugs woojin. his heart races fast and he hopes woojin doesn't question it.

he’s just happy.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

jihoon and woojin met sometime in middle school, woojin being a freshly transfered student with a thick accent that he wasn't exactly embarrassed over. he carried himself with confidence, pride and most of all an open mind and a righteous!and courageous heart, which is why jihoon is convinced they became friends.

woojin, for lack of words, thought everyone were good. and that he should fight back at the sight of anything bad happening. jihoon knew the reality of his school, at least, that there were some people you don’t mess with.

it took repeated advices from jihoon (and a few others), a few fights, a week of suspension and a long time for woojin to realize what jihoon has been trying to say since the day he had joined. it isn't like his character changed after that, just that he was more careful with how he dealt with situations he felt the need to put himself into.

somewhere in between the advices, jihoon thinks, their bond strengthened. jihoon and woojin slowly became jihoonandwoojin, inseparable, unbreakable.

and maybe, somewhere in between, jihoon started dreaming of a life with woojin and him.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

“you know,” jihoon starts, reaching for the pack of chips sitting between them.

it was a lazy saturday, one which the two of them spent with each other most of the time. it helped that they were not really party people, or enjoyed being crowded by so many people. they liked silence, like the one around them right now, comfortable and content.

“what?” woojin asks, taking the bag of chips into his hands as they both watch the sky colored in shades of orange and pink, and a hint of blue.

“sometimes,” he starts, leaning comfortably against the wall. “sometimes i’m glad you’re my friend.”

woojin smiles knowingly, empathetically, and sits closer to jihoon. “me too,” he says, “i’m glad that you’re my friend too.”

jihoon leans into the shoulder beside him, a content smile on his face.

this is enough. he doesn't want to ask for anything else.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

jihoon walks up and down, hands wavering as he explains his dilemma to… nobody. all that stands is a big tree, and jihoon doesn't remember why he came here, out of all places.

the first place he goes to— or rather, the first person he goes to, is woojin. park woojin. but this time he cannot go.

not when the dilemma  _ is _ woojin himself.

“— and i-i think i lo–  _ like _ him?”

“well, about time you realized,” a voice speaks up, startling jihoon and making him fall hard on his butt.

“ _ who _ — d-daehwi?”

“the one and only,” daehwi steps out from behind the tree, standing in a dramatic pose, but gives up and laughs in the end. “but really, about time you realized.”

jihoon tries to hide the blush that creeps up his face, fanning himself with his hand. “i-it’s hot today, isn’t it?”

“hyung, you thought we didn't know?”

“what?”

“oh come on, not the cliche thing from the movies. we knew how badly you’ve been crushing on woojin. well, everyone except for him.”

jihoon lets out a sigh. “that’s good.”

“how?” daehwi asks, sitting beside him. “i mean, i don’t get it. it isn't a bad thing, right? in fact, i think dating your best friend would be  _ good _ .”

“not in all cases, daehwi,” jihoon points. “actually, it is the other way round: dating your best friend would be  _ bad _ .”

“but  _ why? _ ”

“why?” jihoon asks back, picking on the grass beneath them. “what’s the guarantee that they have the same feelings for you? what if they feel betrayed that you saw them in a completely different way?”

daehwi keeps silent for a long time before answering: “well, won’t you feel regret if you never tell them?”

they’re talking as if it is a hypothetical situation when one stands right before their eyes in reality. jihoon smiles at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“i don’t want to lose the one best thing in my life, and if it's this regret that will help me keep it,” he looks at daehwi, a resigned smile on his face, but his heart racing miles at the thought, and adds: “i’ll take it.”

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

jihoon stands before his locker, daehwi’s words hovering in his head over and over again, so much that it’s almost annoying.

he has done a pretty good job of avoiding woojin that day, particularly because of daehwi giving these weird…  _ looks _ towards them whenever he spots them together. and it isn't comfortable. woojin being woojin, is oblivious and just shrugs it off as one if daehwi’s phases.

today, though, it has become overwhelmingly difficult for him to maintain a straight face.  _ especially _ when woojin is out there, playing football as practice for the upcoming inter-school matches, and looking so handsome without even  _ trying _ that jihoon finds his heart almost jumping out. he finds a lame excuse of studying (woojin knows he doesn't do that; at least not a lot) and escapes to the library.

he lets his forehead fall on the table, biting his teeth when he realizes how loud it was and looks up with an apology to everyone. he still goes back to the same position, just a lot quieter this time.

he wonders if woojin realizes that jihoon has been avoiding him. wonders if he’ll ever have a hunch about it.

“hey.”

he jumps at the abrupt voice beside his ear, flinging his hand at whoever it is.

it’s daniel.

_ oh fuck _ .

“i-i’m so sorry!” he yells, earning another handful of disapproving glares. “c-can we go out? or i’m gonna be kicked out.”

“uh, yeah.”

kang daniel. his theatre club partner. daniel doesn't necessarily act, but he’s there because of his best friend seongwoo and his boyfriend minhyun. he isn’t even a member of the theatre club, he’s in the dance club. so maybe woojin would know him better. anyways, daniel had always been a supportive person. always helped people out without hesitation (even got into problems, but whatever.)

that is why it shocks him when daniel asks him for help.

“uh… sure. what is it?”

“uh — that’s…” daniel scratches his head. and jihoon does notice his ears going red. “you know woojin, right?”

something grips his heart. he finds his face heat up as well. “y-yeah,” he gulps. “he’s my best friend.”

“well… uh, this is so awkward, oh my god—  anyways, so, i…” daniel fiddles with his fingers now, and it almost feels like it’s jihoon’s own heart that he is playing with. “i think i… like him?”

if a heart would break, jihoon is sure his is cracked by now. “what?” he asks dumbly.

“i like him, your friend,” daniel says.

“so?” jihoon finds himself asking back.

“so…” daniel has not stopped fiddling;  _ as restless as woojin _ , jihoon thinks. “this is  _ so _ awkward, gosh— i want to ask him out, but i’m not sure how he will respond, so… can you help me?”

jihoon gulps. forced his own heart to calm down.

“sure.”

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

jihoon weighs the pros and cons of daniel and woojin getting together at the times he is left alone, which is a lot more. mostly because he’s avoiding woojin still.

pros:

  1. daniel and woojin would be a perfect match
  2. they both dance (jihoon can try)
  3. they…



he runs out of things that is related between them. he isn't sure how it makes him feel: glad or dejected.

cons:

  1. nothing
  2. literally nothing



now, jihoon thinks. what would happen to  _ him _ if woojin and daniel do end up dating. or at least show some interest in each other, which will still lead to dating.

he walks blankly through the school corridors, clutching the shoulder strap of his bag as tightly as possible.

he cannot come to a conclusion.

he stops abruptly as a vague figure comes into his line of sight.

the one he has been avoiding for a week.

“jihoon!” woojin calls out and runs to him, and jihoon cannot move. he literally cannot move. he feels like the place is gluing him down, gravity working its best till now.

“hey,” he says blankly,  _ dumbly _ , as if nothing ever happened between them. as if he hadn’t been avoiding the other for a week now. as if they're the same as before.

jihoon feels a shift in his world.

“why are you avoiding me?” woojin asks him, direct and almost sharp. it cuts jihoon, right through his heart. “ _ don’t _ tell me that you aren't, i know very well that you are avoiding me.”

“u-uh, that is…” he stands, still unable to move. “a rut, i guess?” he lies through his teeth. “i-i haven't been feeling that well lately.”

_ no _ , he wants to yell.  _ it’s because i have been feeling too much lately _ .

“oh,” woojin says, giving up on his glare immediately. jihoon wonders when he got so good at acting. “you fine now?”

jihoon nods. he feels a lump in his throat. “yeah, better.”

“do you wanna listen to what happened?” woojin says, and jihoon nods again with a smile.

the lump goes into his heart, staying there, throbbing dully, painfully.

 

✦ ✦ ✦

 

“ _ what? _ ” daehwi screams, and jihoon puts a pillow over his head to protect his ears. “what do you mean  _ woojin is going on a date? _ ”

“exactly what i mean,” jihoon replies.

he hadn't even invited daehwi; just spent the weekend day lying about lazily in his bed. he’s supposed to go to woojin’s place by evening, and somehow in between, daehwi had barged into his room.

“ _ hyung _ , you’re supposed to  _ be _ his date!” daehwi jumps in frustration. jihoon smiles at how cute he looks. “did you even tell him?”

“i didn’t,” 

“i knew it! why wouldn't you tell him?”

“ _ because _ i’m not the one for him!” jihoon yells out, finally, the words lingering in his throat now out in the open. “because he doesn't see me that way.”

“you wouldn't know unless you tell him, hyung.”

“i don’t want to ruin whatever we have, daehwi; please.”

“but still—”

“woah, look at the time! i have to rush to woojin’s place now; bye daehwi! see you later!” jihoon says hurriedly, grabbing his shrug and slipping out of the room as fast as he could, leaving daehwi behind.

there's still an hour to be at woojin’s place. an hour to make a decision: either confess to him, or go along with whatever he has. but he knows one thing: he does not want to lose woojin. ever.

he runs into the small park near his house, one where he and woojin used to play when they were barely teenagers. it was a weekend, but strangely, there were no kids.  _ ah _ , he remembered.  _ there's a new park a few streets away. a bigger one _ .

he walks towards the swings, sitting on it, back hunched over. he stared at the grass overgrowing in the lawn; just stared at it blankly.

he doesn't remember when he started crying. he just knows at one point that he does, and hides his face in his palms. he wills for them to stop, but it's only in vain because he only finds himself crying even more.

daehwi’s words ring in his ears once more.

_ you wouldn't know until you tell him _ .

he presses his palms against his ears, wishing the words would just disappear.

he doesn't want to lose woojin. even if it is with his love as the sacrifice, he’s ready to do it. he has seen a lot of friends-turned-lovers stories go wrong, and he doesn't want that to happen between him and woojin. doesn't want anything to happen between them.

 

he stands up, wipes his face clean and with almost no trace of any crying, putting on his practiced smile and a happiness that is more for the show.

 

love can wait. jihoon doesn't want it to disrupt him and woojin.

**Author's Note:**

> do tell me how it is!! here or @ my twitter [@typical_fangrl](https://www.twitter.com/typical_fangrl)! i love feedback uwu >w<


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